Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
