Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
