Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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