im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize