new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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