the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
