just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
