How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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