i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
