Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We are two peas in an std pod
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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