my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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