Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
