"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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