I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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