Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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