Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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