he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
