MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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