PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
