The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
