I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
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