Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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