I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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