Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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