question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
why do cheetos always look like penises
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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