But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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