Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
