Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
