Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
