5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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