erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize