well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
