Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
