i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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