I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
