I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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