I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
