Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
