i'm signing you up for texting rehab
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
