just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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