Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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