yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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