Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
