ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
