wanna go halves on a baby?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
