I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
