i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Randomize
