She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
