All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
