Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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