My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
